Distinctions of the Stupid

These are just some of the choice awards earned during the 1999 trip to Savannah. If you think someone was deserving of an award not listed here, please email us, and we'll be happy to add him.

If you don't understand the award, you're probably a better person for it. Don't ask. You won't want to know.

General Custer's Last Stand: Brett

Jack Kevorkian "Take out the Old Guy" Award: Mick "Deadbeater" Jakupca

Sharing way too much info during dinner: Knapp, for his wonderful description of felching

Mouth of the South Award: Phil "The Sinner" Payne

Getting thrown out of a family steak house for being nekkid: Tom "Tigger" Phillips

Getting thrown out of a lesbian bar: Justin "Mad Hatter" "Dirtbag" "Buhner" "El Capitan" "Missing Link" "Cuddlepuff" "Stone Cold Steve Austin" "I have way too many nicknames" Mader

The Once Bitten, Twice Shy Award, won for the second year in a row, thanks to the Dog-Faced Elf Boy: Justin

Second Worst Slam of the trip: Being named the Dog-Faced Elf-Boy
Worst Slam of the trip: Being called out by a 13-year old boy for wearing a scrum cap

The Sinner: Phil for being the first SVELT ever to be sent to the Sin Bin during a social game filling in for another team

Boy Scout Preparedness Award: Sparky, for having ice & beer ready before he even had a room

Mr. Roger's Won't You Be My Neighbor Award: Knapp for making friends with the Irish Gook.

Editor's Note: These are his words, NOT OURS. Please do not send complaints to the website. If you want to express your opinions to Knappy, go ahead. You do it. But I'm not going to be responsible for what happens.

All State Good Hands Award: Matt Bingham for dropping passes so readily that people on the other pitch were chanting "Bingham Sucks"

The Mean Gene Okerland Commentary Award: Griz for his running commentary during the second game on Saturday

The Happy Gilmore "I tried to kill someone with a butter knife" award: Knapp for trying to stab Mick before dinner for talking about Chemistry